I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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