my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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