Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
