No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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