just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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