so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
