So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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