Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
