I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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