I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
