Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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