She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She bit a glass in half.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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