Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
