Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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