So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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