I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
only you would photoshop your dick
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
