Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Boobs speak an international language.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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