what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
