God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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