Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
