Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
