I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
