Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
