It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
