I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just found puke in my bra..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
