Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
