Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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