New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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