I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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