just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
