The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
