I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
