also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
