SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
