lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
