this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize