Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
