my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
