Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
