In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
