I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
only if we run a train.
done.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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