i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can't turn off my feet"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
