I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize