last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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