But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
