just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
