I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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