I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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