we're blogging at a bar
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
