"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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