I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
