I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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