something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
