We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
