I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
