Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
