the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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