He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
