brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
