when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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