if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
