did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize