i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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