do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
